My Mom My Hero: Alzheimer's - A Mother and Daughter's Bittersweet Journey by Hirsch Lisa R

Author:Hirsch, Lisa R. [Hirsch, Lisa R.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780615773988
Publisher: Logan Shawn Press
Published: 2013-03-08T08:00:00+00:00

Thank you, Lisa. Boy, did I need to read this today! I have huge tears right now, but I have printed this and posted it on my bulletin board to read every day. Thank you for sharing. I am going to see the positive in all of this, just like you are.

—Suzanne

May 4, 2012

Does My Mom With Alzheimer’s

Know It’s Mother’s Day?

I’ll be off to see my mom on Wednesday for Mother’s Day. My flight leaves New York early in the morning. As I prepare myself for my trip, I get flashes of all different memories and feelings that are stored up within me. What will Mom be like this time? How much has her Alzheimer’s caused her to disappear into her world? Speaking to my mom each day is quite different than living with her. For the most part, my conversations on the phone with my mom are great. Then, of course, there are those other moments. So actually being and living with mom for several days will be quite different. My heart misses her, and my stomach churns both with excitement and nervousness.

This week, my emotions about my mother ran like a river with many inlets. Today’s phone call left me feeling exhilarated, yet during the week after she had an episode of incontinence, I fell into an emotion of feeling quite sad and lost. Fortunately she was fine for the rest of the week, as her caregivers realized that they might have overloaded her with too much bran since she had been constipated.

After that episode, I was not able to shake the sadness that I seemed to carry with me for most of the day. I had felt that my mom was no longer whole and had become half a person. How could this be? Where was my mother’s journey with Alzheimer’s going? What would be happening next? I did not understand, and for the rest of the day, I walked around in a haze, with a lump in my throat and a pain in my heart. Each day when I called, I was frightened, until I was reassured that my mother was doing just fine.

Today, I felt so much joy I wanted to run to a mountain top and spread the words that my mom had just shared with me. She had such a softness and nurturing kindness to her voice. At first we spoke about all the people she could not remember, since most had moved away. Mom said that maybe if she were able to see them, then perhaps she would remember them. “Mom,” I declared, “I hope even though I live so far away that you never will forget me.” She answered with, “How could I ever forget you?” Then she explained that the most important thing is that we are all well. She continued to say that there was nothing more important than being healthy.

I changed the subject and told her that I would be seeing her in five days as I was coming to celebrate Mother’s Day with her.

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